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Mention that you're pursuing pleasure as a life priority and watch how quickly people assume you're irresponsible, selfish or morally bankrupt. The word conjures images of excess and people who've abandoned all responsibility in favour of immediate gratification.
But what if our cultural dislike of hedonism is actually doing us harm? After years working as an Australian escort provider, I've come to believe that our suspicion of hedonism is very misguided. Not because excess is admirable, but because we've conflated mindful pleasure-seeking with harmful indulgence in ways that prevent people from accessing joy, sensuality and genuine aliveness.
What hedonism actually means
At its core, hedonism is simply the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. This doesn't inherently mean excess, irresponsibility or harm. These associations have been layered onto hedonism through cultural conditioning.
Genuine hedonism involves pursuing experiences that bring pleasure whilst maintaining awareness of consequences and care for yourself and others. When we reject hedonism entirely, we also reject the pursuit of pleasure itself.
Why pleasure became suspect
Cultural disdain for hedonism has been cultivated through religious teachings, capitalist productivity demands and social structures that benefit from people who suppress their desires. Religious traditions positioned pleasure as morally dangerous. Capitalism positioned productivity as the highest virtue, making rest and enjoyment seem like laziness. Cultural messaging taught that good people sacrifice themselves for others, particularly women.
The result is a culture where pleasure itself has become suspect. We've learnt to feel guilty for enjoying ourselves and to believe that virtue requires suffering.
Rejecting pleasure
I've met countless people who have never given themselves permission to pursue pleasure. They've spent decades meeting everyone else's needs whilst denying themselves experiences that would bring genuine joy. The result isn't virtue, it's often deep resentment and lives that feel heavy and joyless.
This rejection shows up strongly in sexual relationships. People feel guilty for wanting threesome escort experiences and convinced that prioritising their own pleasure makes them selfish. It shows up in how people relate to their bodies, denying rest and treating physical needs as inconveniences.
Awareness makes all the difference
The legitimate concern is that unchecked pleasure-seeking can become destructive. But these problems aren't inherent to hedonism itself. They're what happens when pleasure-seeking becomes divorced from awareness and responsibility.
Healthy hedonism involves pursuing pleasure whilst remaining aware of how your choices affect yourself and others. This requires recognising when you're pursuing genuine pleasure versus running from pain.
Why pleasure is IMPORTANT
Pleasure isn't frivolous. It's essential for wellbeing, connection and living fully. Sexual pleasure strengthens intimate bonds and reduces stress. The pleasure of physical touch regulates our nervous systems. The pleasure of laughter helps us process difficulty and maintain resilience.
Denying ourselves pleasure doesn't make us virtuous. It disconnects us from essential feedback our bodies provide about what we need.
Moving forward
The cultural disdain of hedonism has kept many people from essential experiences of pleasure and joy. We need more people who are willing to pursue pleasure without guilt and who value their own aliveness.
The experience of hedonism is our birthright and there is absolutely no shame in wanting to live your life authentically.
Love Evie
Evie Elysian is a Melbourne escort working with her real-life partner Axel Meridius as a Melbourne escort duo under the name Evie + Axel.
