Date posted:
This has been written from a heterosexual point of view, but if you're not a prude and float another direction you'll get the deal.
Okay you've made it. We've trecked through the depths of the kinksters and some of their more extreme pleasures. We've talked to the love birds about how you could enjoy real, deep, love making and a brief insight into the REAL origin of tantric sex and it's significance. But what about plain old vanilla sex, the good creamy Blue Ribbon stuff that started this gangster shit. What defines vanilla sex? Is vanilla sex really a thing of the past, left for the over forty's? Are toys classified as vanilla? How long should a vanilla sex session go for? What if I want chocolate Ice-cream but with the simple pleasures, is that still vanilla?
Good vanilla sex can never be underrated. Good vanilla sex is fun. Good vanilla sex can incorporate practices & things you learn from BDSM & sacred sex, to create the best, creamiest, tub of ice-cream you ever taste.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Vanilla sex! HOW GOOD IS GOOD VANILLA SEX!
Those twenty minute quickies in the car; that morning sex where side cuddles just somehow end up with a cock sliding into a waterfall; that goodnight kiss that just lingers a second longer than anticipated and has the man now ploughing his meat into her for thirty minutes before bed. Let's be real, vanilla sex is probably the most practical form of sex to have, to become good at, and enjoy. Vanilla sex is great and I believe due to it's fundamental basis within the world of sex, it needs to be continually enjoyed even as you journey and explore other avenues of sexual fun. Some of you may be reading the, 'To become good at' and think to yourself, "How can you not be good at vanilla sex, it's the easiest form of sex", there are learnable skills required to be good or even great at vanilla sex. When you educate yourself on the topic of sex and the subjects around sex you will learn that the skills & techniques to have good vanilla sex are very simple; breath work, how sexually active you are, diet, and mindset. Your relationship to sex will determine how much effort, time and practice needs to go into developing the skills required to have good vanilla sex if this is an area you believe needs improving.
Before we had '120 days of Sodom', and '50 Shades of Grey'; before the idea of sacred sex was popular, and tantric sex was practiced; we had just plain old vanilla sex - and it doesn't take Einstein to figure that one out. Just about every animal has their own version of sex to reproduce, and we are in fact our own species of animal. Even as a man of faith, I do believe science a little more when it comes to our evolutionary history and the facts that we have evolved as the superior animal species. So, what was sex in the beginning? I can imagine that in the beginning our male species would pull their willies out and put it inside of the thing we now call a vagina, transcending his genes onto the next stage of life. Side thought; how did the first species of any animals including homosapians know that putting a willy inside of the vagina would create a baby; could you imagine being the very first thing ever to realise that putting a pee pee inside of a hole generates another thing, mind blowing. You would honestly feel like a magician. Imagine being the very first woman to go into labor or give birth, poor woman, probably died. Back to the educational conversation. There was no tying someone from the ceiling and filling every hole; there was no, "Let's sit and tell each other how beautiful our bodies are while we make slow love in each other's laps for twenty minutes"; there may have been some level of primal intimacy just like chimpanzees and other animals have, but I would argue that it all began with just plain old vanilla sex on a rock. Obviously over time the way in which we have sex, the way we view sex, the reasons we have sex, and the meaning of sex has changed. Sex used to be for reproduction only; now is a form of leisurely pleasure, deep spiritual bonding, and primal releases. When sex was for reproduction purposes only you did not need to know how to control your breath; you did not necessarily need to know about hydration; you did not need to know what positions gave the woman the most pleasure, or which positions allow the man more control of his ejaculation; you did not need to know other little tricks that make positions like missionary the most incredible position in the world – I could do missionary & the pretzel all day and not get bored. As former industry professional Stirling Cooper has pointed out, the only purpose of sex at the beginning of time was for reproduction. The male needed to put your penis inside of her vagina and ejaculate as fast as possible. Now with sex being the phenomena that it is, even vanilla sex has a certain level of skill to it. So let's talk about how we can turn Home brand vanilla sex, into a Blue Ribbon tub. Australian ice cream joke.
Prioritising your health goes a long way with any sexual encounter, a long way! So just doing the basics of health will make a vanilla encounter that much creamer. Things like staying hydrated, stretching throughout the day, consuming fruits like; watermelon, mango, blueberries, strawberries, and banana's; these fruits give you energy and help you taste better as well. Watermelon has been linked to helping men have harder erections, mango has been linked to making you hornier, blue berries are a great antioxidant, and banana's have long been known as the energy bar of the natural world. Pretty basic stuff right. Do some form of exercise; you do not need to have six pack abs or look like a super model - that would be obnoxious and ignorant; but getting out and moving the body does great things for the chemicals within your brain. I'm not a science geek like some of the people I follow but it has commonly been known that exercising generally makes people have more libido and a higher sex drive. Go for a twenty-minute walk a few times a week, or do some yoga, maybe take up that dance class you have always wanted to do; something that gets the body moving and heart pumping. All of these simple things go a long way in enjoying normal sex. If you have explored or intend to explore the realms of BDSM & Tantric/ sacred sex you will learn very quickly that stretching, breathing, and staying consciously aware of yourself are vital practices for a positive experience. I have mentioned all of this throughout the last couple months in my sexual education blogs.
Before you are hog tied from the ceiling it is usually safe practice to stretch your muscles first, you're going to need it. Stretching before engaging in sexual intercourse is apart of the stress removal process of tantric/ sacred sex. Apparently we need to breathe to continuously supply our body with oxygen, so learning to control our breathing is probably very important for good sex too. Go outside and enjoy the sun for a little while. All these basic things that promote great health are going to aid you in having great vanilla sex. Vanilla sex is just sex, just as good health is good health.
Put away the porn. We have already spoken about this during the blog 'Sacred Sex', and while porn has it's place and some people have control of their vice, there are an awful lot that do not. If you're watching extremely graphic porn videos like gangbangs or reverse gangbangs, extreme BDSM, fantasies that are unrealistic you are going to struggle being aroused when you have a real person in front of you wanting the most simple thing – or for some men becoming hyper aroused when you have a real human experience and finish too quickly. And if you are anything like what I was like when I consumed porn, you enjoy seeing someone attractive on your screen. If you are constantly masturbating to these hyper attractive woman, and hyper attractive men you may struggle with a range of different sexual complications when in the company of a real person who looks nothing like your last three-hundred-and-sixty solo orgasms. If you as a woman have been using a high intensity vibrator regularly on your clit and inside your vagina for a number of years, there is a high likelihood that you will struggle to become aroused from the physical touch of a real person. If you have been masturbating to ten out of ten 'super models' with giant, perfectly symmetrical tits, a perfect ass, tight waist, and tanned skin for the last God knows how long; and you then have an experience with a girl who may be a little thicker, one breast is slightly bigger than the other, and she has a couple scars, you may struggle to become erect. Maybe you're a quick releaser and just need to masturbate for thirty seconds to have that post nut clarity after work, there is a high liklihood your practice will be preached and your thirty seconds will repeat itself in the bedroom. Quite recently I mentioned that I consume porn for training purposes; I have exercises that I do to increase various strengths, muscles, and sizes around my erogenous zone, and because I do not have a partner that I am regularly sexual with in my personal life porn is the easiest option when in need. Though as I edit this blog I am now two weeks without consuming any porn for such purposes, I simply use the power of my imagination. Due to my diet and daily supplements, I can maintain a healthy erection – if not, a stronger erection when training. I went clean from porn for about two & half, three years and during this process did not masturbate at all. I was dating someone for most of the time, and when I was not dating anyone I was not highly active. I can tell you firsthand about the problems associated with the over consumption of porn, the effect porn has on our brains and mindsets, and the effect it has on your relationships. If you have a partner(s), I now personally believe there is no reason anyone within the relationship should be consuming porn, while also having the broader view as to how & why the snake is eating it's own tale. Put the porn down, learn how to excite, entice, seduce, romance, ravage, make love over a number of days, and fuck until you can't fuck no more.
Okay, the dad advice is out of the way now.
Even during vanilla sex you can practice a range of different things to enhance the experience. As a woman you could moan deeply, as your man grunts. Nibble on your partner's earlobe while you are body to body. Whisper dirty things in your partner's ear (personal favourite). Learn how to pull & grab hair correctly. Learn how to hold someone's throat correctly. Adjust the pace. Add a pillow. As the man you're probably accustomed to doing most of the thrusting, let your woman move her hips and do some work from time to time. Learn to enjoy the sight of a sexy human giving you, or receiving your pleasure while staying in one continual position for five, ten, fifteen minutes. There are like ten variations of missionary off the top of my head, and there is an entire body to learn about and explore. We live in a time of such short attention spans that we become bored easily and crave 'the new' too intensely, everything was yesterday and tomorrow can't come soon enough. At the same time everything has already happened. Look at fashion for example, nothing really goes out of style, it's just the season that our phones and social media tell us it is. And while I understand there have always been 'trends', we live in a time where you can make the fashion of two seasons ago, your thing of today. This is the beauty and the art of vanilla sex; learning to do the timeless well and just keep things simple. Why change positions if it feels good for the both of you. Who is to say that you can't stay in one position for twenty minutes if it feels great and no one is cramping. Obviously doing the exact same four positions in the exact same sequence, with the exact same intensity, every. Single. Time. You copulate. Will be boring. Learn a little sexual & emotional intelligence.
For a lot of people, virgins, and those who may not have a large experience of sex; vanilla sex still requires you to put in work, vanilla sex still requires you to learn, but vanilla sex is just sex, and sex that doesn't need extravagant thinking or copious amounts of time. When you get past the need to come all the time you can have five to ten-minute quickies at your convenience which build up the sexual tension and eventually, and theoretically give you the orgasm you desire. You're practicing sexual transmutation and delayed ejaculation, do you remember the XXL balloon analogy I used in the 'Sacred Sex' blog. If you struggle to have even a two-minute quickie then there are exercises and things that you can do to improve. As the man the first thing you will need to assess is how quickly you ejaculate when you watch porn. If you are fixing your 'needs' with a one-minute quick fix and then struggling to last thirty-seconds in the bedroom that will most likely be a serious factor.
At the conclusion of this blog I will link some of the professionals that I have learnt from to aid in the skills to be a better in the bedroom. Read their work, contact them, and enrich your sex life. I understand and empathise with the fact that there are still complications for some people that prevent them from being able to enjoy plain old sex, and unless there is a medical interference, it shouldn't be like that. To experience a good twenty minutes of simple vanilla sex should not be a commodity. Start slow, control your breathing, wear a condom, use some lube if need be
Most of my sexual experiences in life so far have been quite vanilla. Yes I've had sex in an adult cinema; jerked my cock for a sexting session for an entire day while on a trade site – obviously in privacy; I've had sex at a workplace with the bosses daughter; had a couple one night encounters; carried out a handful of BDSM scenes; practiced creating a multi hour tantric experience; received a blowjob in a festival cubical; I've masturbated into my hand and then rubbed them together; I've licked up my own seaman off tits and swallowed it – multiple times; I have drank female come straight from the pussy like you drink water straight out of a tap; and I've had sex with a woman while she was on her period. Compared to some people who made all of this happen the first week they lost their virginity - that's an exaggeration obviously; I am quite tame. Then you have the other side of the spectrum where a lot of people have never even imagined half of what I just told you and think that I am the kinkiest, most wild person in the world. What I'm getting at here is that just because you have not mastered Shabari rope, or never had extremely kinky fuck fests, or never had deep, powerful, sacred sex sessions, does not mean you're missing out. Maybe you do have your own personal kinky experiences and styles of love making that you wish to explore, and that is also what I would like to discursively elaborate here. If you want to experience being anal fucked by a foot that is completely normal. If you want to give a man a rim job (lick his asshole) that's completely normal. You thoroughly enjoy sitting on someone's lap holding them and slowly grinding yourself back and forth, that is completely normal. You want to use balloons for a range of different things that's normal. I had a conversation with a girl who wanted to have sex in a bathtub while being covered in canned spaghetti. That's normal. And what I mean by normal is that it is okay to want to try something a little different, a little out of the ordinary, what some may very well call strange. You might find their naughty pleasure strange and would never dream of trying it. And that's part of our job as escorts, to help provide people with a safe space to explore those kinky & sacred experiences. Not all escorts will provide the experience you want though, some may not feel comfortable providing that service or have the tools to provide that experience in a safe and enjoyable way. The main point I am trying to make here is that just having sex, normal plain old sex, is what most people have, and it is really fun when you put the simple action steps into practice and become sexual & emotionally intelligent.
I have not explored as much as I would like within the world of kink & tantra. and truthfully, while there is a lot I want to explore, I am quite demure with wanting to explore those worlds of sex. I've said this previously, "Within the world of kink & sex in general, you do not need to try everything to know if you like it". I am only twenty-six though. And so, if you are for arguments sake over thirty-five and had a dull or non-existent sex life except for the time you created your three spoilt little humans, you're probably going to want to explore as much sex as sexually possible. The only time you felt genuinely sexy was the one minute that he made you a balloon for nine months; and if you're a man reading this, the only time you felt like the man your woman actually wanted, was those one, two, or three times she sucked your cock without you asking while you were up late watching NCIS or something, she was horny and you thought fuck it why not. Me only being twenty-six I have plenty of years to explore, and so I am relatively demure within my personal sex life.
Over my time of personally talking with experienced kinksters and people who have practiced sacred sex (however few that may be), there are a lot that say they will never go back, while an awful lot (usually the more sexually mature) express how much they enjoy getting back to vanilla sex. Because when you dive into different types of BDSM & kink, and sacred/ tantric sex you learn about all the elements that make a vanilla session good: Breath work, the importance of stretching, the importance of hydration, the importance of communication, how to lead & how to follow, learning to slow things down and take a break. When you develop the skills to have good vanilla sex, and are frequently having sex, you will learn that you don't have to think too much, you just have fun with what you are feeling in the moment, there are no huge expectations like with a BDSM scene where you're expecting to have your entire body sweat, bleed and shake. You're not expecting to transcend to a place out of this world like with tantric practices. It's just sex that feels good. You can enjoy the sexiness of your partner, you can enjoy giving & receiving pleasure, and you just get to enjoy plain old normal Blue-Ribbon sex.
The reason I believe some people say that once you go kinky or sacred you will never go back is because you could have one huge sexual session for multiple hours and be sexually satisfied for a week, two weeks, or even a month, compared to say having thirty minutes of sex five times in one week. And just like the porn you may consume, when you increase the intensity, or discover something nuance, it can be difficult to go back to the previous content you consumed; If you started with simple lesbian porn but now consume BDSM orgies where two girls are ten guys whores, you may find it difficult to go back to the videos you started with. So if you progress from vanilla sex into say sacred, deep love making, passionate sex, you could quite easily struggle to find as much pleasure in normal vanilla sex. But I beg the question for all those kinksters & sacred sex people; do you never wake up in the morning next to your partner and just want twenty minutes of cock or pussy? Without it being set as a task like in some BDSM dynamics, would you (the reader) enjoy having your pussy eaten in the morning because your man just wants to lick your lips for a couple of minutes; would you enjoy waking your man up with a warm mouth wrapping itself around his succulent cock; would you as a man enjoy your woman making you a rock and then riding you for five minutes. Neither of you may even come. Should you have read my blog 'Sacred Sex' you would know sexual retention is incredible for both men & women. If you shared five minutes of sex and then left each other to get ready for your days, you would have the best built up sexual energy all day. If you were in a monogamous relationship, loyal, and having that type of morning, you would both be thinking about each other all day long while also having this controlled, positive sexual energy storing inside of you. You may even continue your playful regime as you get ready for the day; a couple thrusts in the shower, a blow job while your girl is on the toilet, eating some pussy while she brushes her teeth, you get the deal. Obviously some major circumstances may come into effect during the day that kill your sex drive, but based on my own experiences unless it's catastrophic or something serious you two will most likely find that sex will continue. And obviously this is where if something serious does present itself you show each other that you care about each other, through communication and emotional intelligence for the situation; if you were going to spend the time having sex you have the time to have an ear or a hug. It can be daunting to explore, experiment, learn about, and experience sacred sex or kinky sex when you read things that say once you experience 'this' you won't want to go back, but I just don't believe that to be entirely true. Because vanilla sex, is the core ingredient to all sexual practices, and is the foundation of sexual education. When you learn about the world of kink & sacred sex, and learn the values that should be taught within these practices, the skills and techniques to provide fun forms of adult play, your sexual awareness and sexual intelligence increases. Without plain old vanilla sex you would not have kinky & sacred sex. Just how if no one learnt how to make a rhythm using strings or keys, we would not have DJ's, rappers, and potentially singers.
As you explore the world of sex, become more sexually educated and more sexually intelligent; I believe you will enjoy vanilla sex. It is the foundation of all sexual realms. Without vanilla sex we would not have kinky sex, BDSM sex, or tantric sex. Sometimes within the sex world I think vanilla sex receives a bad, banal, or 'too old' reputation; if it isn't a ten person orgy; if I'm not screaming for my life; if I'm not being at one with mind, body, emotions, and soul than it's not even fun. Just imagine if every single couple in the world woke up with ten minutes of fun, vanilla sex every morning. Not looking at it like a chore, not saying "your turn to eat me out, I sucked your dick yesterday", not concerned with the orgasm, but just finding ten minutes to enjoy your partner(s) every morning. In a perfect world that would probably be one of the biggest steps in lowering the divorce rate, improving marriages, and make people a whole lot happier.
While I may be an escort and thoroughly enjoy being an escort, there are far more benefits that come from lower divorce rates; happy and fulfilled relationships & marriages; sexually satisfied people; than a paycheck that supports higher divorce rates, and unsexually satisfied people.
As an escort most of the sex that I have had and that I offer is vanilla sex. While I can bring toys like vibrators, dildos, and whips into the session; while I offer a POV film styled porn experience; I can and am willing to create a BDSM scene; most of the sex I have had is tame sex. Yes I've had a couple threesomes, but even they were relatively tame. Even one client that I failed just wanted good normal sex. Most couples that inquired just want vanilla sex but with a third.
Vanilla sex is underrated at times and that is unfortunate. When people say, "It's just sex" that are referring to vanilla sex. At least I hope anyway. And it is just sex, because whether you like it or not the only reason you are reading these words is because a penis created sperm that went inside of an egg and morphed into your existence. Vanilla sex has been here since the dawn on man kind. It's just good, fun, sex.
Maybe I'm really just that old of a soul. I like the simple things. I do like extravagant things; fast cars; suits that make people say, "Damn, he's fucking hot!"; the idea of being jacked; I like hard kinky fucked up sex; I love deep, soulful, passionate, love making. I also enjoy a simple good campfire; I like Suzuki swifts and a simple Sudan that's comfortable; I love a good book and tea; I like doing sweet fuck all and eating a bag of chips while I watch a movie; and I like good vanilla, blue ribbon sex.
What about you? Do you like just good plain old vanilla sex?
Comment below.
Thank you for reading,
L. Soule.
Mobile: 0411 316 973
Email: [email protected]
www.lexxsoule.com
