Date posted:
Within the following pages are 10 commandments to guide and aid escorts in providing a better, more professional escorting service to clients. This has been created for entertainment purposes, with a pragmatic approach of aiming to educate current workers and potential new workers on some guidelines that allow you to provide the most professional service to your clients.
With two years of industry experience, I have the emotional awareness to understand this is the sex industry, and so how you decide to attract clients is slightly different to your standard business. For example it is commonly known not to have sex with the person you are doing business with, sex workers have sex with people to create business. You probably shouldn't go out and try to intimately flirt with people to then pitch them your next business venture during pillow talk, but going out to intimately flirt with potential clients is how a sex worker may attract new clients. A digital marketing agency can practically post whatever they like on social media, sex workers are limited – which I agree with to some extent, what irritates me and probably most people is just the inconsistency.
Just like in a standard business, sometimes you're going to need to do something that no one else is willing to do to succeed. Do something that most people will tell you not to, but a lot would secretly enjoy seeing you pull off. You can have a lot of fun as an escort trying to attract new clients, because the aim of the game (at least for me) is to make people feel good, have fun, and escape from the mundane ties of life. Personally, I am willing to be a little more bold, take some risks, willing to be a little different, just to break the cycle of everyone's day. In a world where everyone is bored, bring something different. And from my perspective so many escorts just look the same, men and woman. People enter the industry, copy and paste a bio, take some sexy photos in the exact same poses, and call it a day expecting the money and clients to just roll in. I'll be the first to put my hand up and say I was slightly guilty of this in the beginning – in the beginning I wrote an immaculate biography, and went for a professional boudoir photo shoot, and I honestly thought the work was going to be a lot different to what it has been. Since then I have changed my business model a few times, taken some risks, failed, possibly changed someone's life, and found a deep appreciation for the work that we escorts provide. While sex is the biggest element of this work, sex is so much more than just putting a penis in a vagina. What are you going to do to make people want you? What will make people want to keep you around? If it is just sex & your appearance that you offer you are replaceable unless it is the best sex in the world, your physical beauty will fade and there will be new soon.
As escorts we are working with people, we are working with physical bodies, we are working with emotions, we are working with spirits, we are working with psychological experiences, and both escort & client matter, and we both share our own individual positive and negative memories and future desires. People claim to be bored. People are unsatisfied with their sex lives, their marriages, their jobs, their neighbours, even their pet dog scruffy fucks them off three times a week. Do you understand human nature at a fundamental level? Do you know how to deal with conversations about traumatic experiences? Are you trying to add value to the other person or just me, me, me, me, take, take, take, take. Did you know that different cultures have different values around business, with some cultures putting emphasis on giving more value, to receive more in return. Think 'the law of reciprocity'. Money does not always equal value, and value does not always cost a large amount of money.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS TO BE THE BEST ESCORT
1. Do an STI screening regularly
If you are regularly having sex and seeing clients. STAY REGULARLY TESTED! While the new decriminalisation laws within applicable states allow workers to work without being tested, I arbitrarily believe that not getting tested can lead to the spread of dieses more easily. Obviously, there may be workers & business owners who disagree with me here, and so please educate me on how not being regularly tested keeps EVERYONE safe. I understand that there was a large amount of people who were anti-vax during the covid-19 pandemic, those who did not want to get vaxxed, and wanted the freedom to make their own choices; so under this premise I understand a provider may exercises their body, their rules. That being said, being vaccinated and being tested are two different things. One is putting a substance into your body, the other is finding out if you have a transmittable disease that needs to be treated. Using covid as an example again, you may have tested positive to the illness so you took the required steps to stay isolated & eliminate the sickness. Just as being tested positive to most STI's may mean you do not service clients for a limited time while you cure the infection. From all accounts that I talk to about this subject, most STI's are treatable. At the bare minimum be tested once every three months.
DO AN STI SCREENING REGULARLY.
2. Educate yourself on SEX and STI's
Sex is so much more then a penis going into a vagina, learn the skills that make even the most basic vanilla sex fun and lively, it could be as simple as moaning, grunting, and dirty talk during sex. Learn how to entice the masculine and feminine within sex's that you intend to service. Both you & your clients may get stuck in your thoughts from time to time during a booking, do you know how to bring yourself back to the present. Learning about STI's is essential to this line of work, there are some stigma's around STI's. Obviously no STI is a fun experience and you won't wear a badge of honour that says, "I have the clap and am proud". The talk & thought of STI's can bring on anxiety but a lot of STI's are treatable and curable today as mentioned above. Learn how to have fun, good sex. Learn how to have safe sex.
EDUCATE YOURSELF ON SEX & STI's.
3. Treat the client how you would like to be treated
"My time my rules", "Their paying me for MY BODY", "I hate when clients try to milk the most out of a booking" a few of the uncomfortable comments I have come across within this industry.
Yes, it is your time, yes it is your body; it is also the clients' time, the clients' body, the clients' money, the clients social & professional risk. If sex work was paying $55.73 an hour do you really think you would still be saying "my body, my time"? Would you even still be a sex worker? Probably not. Go get a standard job and tell your boss that you will work when you want, how you want, because it is your time, your life, your energy. They will say, "Oh, I'm so sorry you're right. It's my job, my paycheck, and my position that says you're now fired. Enjoy your life". I could imagine that even being an escort for a reputable agency would have similar consequences. Put your ego aside and accept the fact that these clients are paying good money and deserve good treatment. Have your boundaries, stay safe, sane, consensual, and comfortable; should the client behave in a manner that is inappropriate have the conversations that need to be had, and if necessary take the steps to never see them again.
I have heard accounts of working men who stay glued to their phone the entire booking, talking to their girlfriend at home. I have heard about men who asked clients to pay a full hour of pay or make another booking just to reassure a client that they (the provider) had a good time. Are you that money hungry that you can not even send a thirty second voice message that says, "Hello gorgeous, thank you for seeing me, you were a wonderful client to spend time with, and I look forward to seeing you again soon", fuck me! That is a 7.74 second message. There are people generating tenfold the amount of money as you, tenfold more busy then you, add tenfold more value then you and they still have the time of day to reply to fan mail, you as a professional worker have the time to send a TEN SECOND voice message that says, "I had a great time". I had a client tell me that they hired escorts previously who busted in ten – twenty minutes and then went to sleep for the remaining four hours. That is appalling.
TREAT THE CLIENT HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED.
4. Your price tag is not your real value
Just because you look good for the camera, with an oiled body, edited professional photos; or are a pretty face with big breasts and a perky ass, does not mean you are worth the price you set. Marketing gurus may say otherwise, but you are not always worth that price. It's just like a coach selling you their $10,000 a month service without a legitimate business behind them. As Culture Kings founder Simon Beard has said, "Coaches are selling their 'knowledge' without having built a legitimate business or achieved a great deal of success. Their business model is coaching to help fund their coach". It's just like people who see the DJ selling out shows with 10,000 people, jumping up and down, pressing a couple buttons and think I can become a world famous DJ & producer. To be a REAL DJ is hard work. While producing a track is a lot easier than it was ten years ago, are you just dragging and dropping a sound or creating something slightly unique? Are you regurgitating the presentation your coach presented to you or are you creating something completely unique? Only you know.
People (men & women) see the price tag of a successful escort, enjoy sex (like everyone), and think that's for me I'm going to be rich and have lots of sex. You do not need to be the best lay; you do not need to know everything about sex in the beginning; you do not need to be the smartest person or the most attractive. But you do need to genuinely like interacting with people; have a fundamental understanding of human nature and behaviour; be willing to listen, learn, & grow; and understand and enjoy the facts, that there is more to sex & sexuality than a penis filling a hole.
Now that Australia is slowly decriminalising sex work you are going to need to do more and more work to be successful. Depending on your target demographic, aspirations & career goals, you are going to have to continuously work on yourself, work on your skills, do emotional work, and possibly travel to see more of the world. I seriously question how the fuck some females enter this industry and instantly start charging $1,500 an hour. I won't turn this into a political debate, but when an extremist tells me there are pay gaps that men in Australia are paid more because they are men, I simply ask, "Have you looked at the sex industry in Australia?". Can you speak another language fluently? How good are you at sex? Are you about to give the man the best sex of his life? Do you have a brain? Do you have a point of difference? Your beauty will fade if you do not look after yourself. For men the standard rate is between $300 - $500 an hour, even men who I know for a fact have great sexual skills, a brain on them, and are attractive, would struggle to charge over $1,000 an hour. Conversely there are some males who should not be charging $500 an hour because they do not have any of the hallmarks of being a genuinely good gentleman, their profiles look horrible, they say they are intelligent while half of their sentences are missing words & letters, and they are not adding any value or educating people in anyway shape or form. Having an OF account (OnlyFans) does not mean you are adding value or educating people.
Here are two examples of providers who I believe demonstrate value to their price point.
Male – Rhys Phillips or Rhys Sensual. He is tall, muscular, an attractive man, in his 30's, and has a warm social presence. On his TikTok he adds value to the community and clients by sharing his knowledge and experience of sex, and sexuality. His public price ranges from $500 - $800 an hour.
Female – Jenna Love. She is not your 'stereotypical' hot, blonde, model with big fake tits and thick ass. She is a curvy woman, mature age (36), has strawberry blonde hair, a seductive smile, big natural breasts & a thick ass. She adds immense value to the community through her podcast channel and Instagram reels where she answers questions, and discusses comments that people may make. Her public price starts at $700 an hour.
What I believe this demonstrates to clients is that they (Rhys & Jenna) are professionals who know what they are doing and talking about. As a client you are in good, safe hands. They (Rhys & Jenna) have the knowledge to understand and address your individual needs. Due to the nature of this work, I believe that both of these providers price points are equal to the value you receive. They have also been providers for a number of years.
Your rate is over $1,000 an hour while you're making stupid toks, smoking weed all day, snorting your paycheck, and complaining about inflation.
YOUR PRICE TAG IS NOT YOUR VALUE.
5. Self-respect
Hold yourself accountable. Set boundaries for yourself. Carry yourself in a way that you can nobly hold your own head high – it's on your shoulders. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You are one great person". This is vitally important for this line of work because to often uneducated people think of us (escorts) as just an object, a piece of meat that steals peoples money, takes advantage of the lonely, or are just cock and pussy whores. And while most sex workers do probably have a stronger interest in sex than most, we are also human and have other interests. Remember this as a provider; you matter, you are a human, you do deserve to feel safe, you deserve to love & be loved. Should a client or a person you are speaking with about the work, make you feel uncomfortable about yourself or your work, remember that you are number one in your own life. If what someone else is saying is not coming from a place intelligence, respect, or is not constructive, then listen to yourself and hold your head high.
SELF-RESPECT.
6. Hygiene
Some providers have clients shower and use mouth wash prior to the sexual engagement; most providers that I have talked to will do a quick STI screening at the beginning of the sexual interaction. I personally believe the client deserves the same level of hygienic respect. Now because we (the escorts) are the ones providing the services, and the ones supplying the business we do not have to shower in front of the client, nor do we need to let them do an STI screening on us, though if they ask to see your erogenous area, does it really hurt to educate them and demonstrate how they might perform a STI screening when they are with someone else. Depending on your work load will determine whether you shower before & after every single client. Obviously if you are seeing four, five, six clients in one day you may not have a shower before and after every single client. Though a thirty second rinse & re-fresh may not hurt you. For arguments sake let's say you had one booking for the day; in your booking preparation have a shower, clean yourself, and freshen up. Why does your client not deserve that level of professionalism? Have a shower and give your client the best presentation. For some of us the shower symbolises the transition into our working character. The shower after could be in your own time; or should both you & the client(s) be comfortable, and sharing the water as after care, you could use this time to clean yourselves. I shouldn't have to explain why showering and cleaning yourself after a sexual experience is good for your hygiene. Other hygienic practices are maintaining oral health and ensuring that you do not have bad breath, seeing a dentist a couple times a year, use mouthwash prior to bookings, do not shower yourself in twenty layers of deodorant and perfume but still smell nice; and while it may not be categorised as hygiene, iron or steam your clothes. Really simple things that tell the client you want to impress them.
HYGIENE.
7. Escort directories are not dating sites!
Dating apps can be tastefully used to attract clients, but escort directories should not be used to find the love of your life. It's that simple. This rule is tailored more to nuance providers, as it seems some profiles present themselves as a dating profile more than an escorting business. While most of us offer a GFE & BFE which could entail dating services, it is transactional, it is business. If you are lonely yourself do not put an add on a directory in hopes to find a new wife or husband.
ESCORT DIRECTORIES ARE NOT DATING SITES.
8. Learn a self-defence
Especially all lady workers. I have heard that some carry pepper spray, some girls know kick boxing. At the very least I personally believe as a woman you want to be able to inflict enough pain that you can escape the danger adequately. Obviously there are a range of things you can do depending on your situation, but be prepared to bite, scratch, poke an eye, break something etc; then leave as fast as you can. Learn Ju Jitsu, Mauy Thai/ Kick boxing, Judo, or Kung Fu. Something that teaches you defence and counter attacks. For the men, learning self-defence is also a recommendation, maybe not so much for problems with clients but for other individuals. I always promote de-escalation with words, "The most successful battles & wars are won without violence" Sun Tzu The Art of War. It is better to know something and never need it than need it and not know it.
LEARN A SELF-DEFENCE.
9. Safety first
Until the decriminalisation laws were passed I believe sex workers couldn't even have other sex workers as their 'safety' – a common industry term referring to the person we tell our whereabouts too. A simple location and name of the person you are seeing is sufficient enough. This is a worker's protection, or at the very least the problem solver God forbid the very worst case scenario happen. And while you the client may be the loveliest person in the world, most workers will have the anxious thought in the back of their mind, "What if this person tries to kill me?". Some of us are sleeping at the rendezvous with our clients that we have just met, it is only normal to think the what ifs.
Know your exits. Worst case scenario how do you get out.
Be careful of food and drink.
You can never be too safe, though you do not want to be over paranoid, you could ruin a genuinely good, fun, experience. Just be aware.
SAFETY FIRST.
10. Make time for yourself and only you
As an escort you are constantly fulfilling other peoples desires, needs, and wants. It is vital to take time to do the things your birth identity enjoy doing. Reading a book, planning a high-quality date with your partner or friends, just watching a movie by yourself, sex that is focused on your individual pleasures, exercising etc. Doing something that you thoroughly enjoy and allows you to shut off from the world for a short period. This is vital for highly active providers.
MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF AND ONLY YOU.
This extra rule has been added because I think that it is vital to the growth of this industry. This industry just like the creative industries could move society forward in a positive direction. This requires collaborations and having discussions not arguments about different views and beliefs. Unfortunately there is too much bitching, gossip, he's right, she has a certificate, that's wrong because I wouldn't do that, jealously and a range of other bullshit. Everyone is right. Everyone is perfect. We all take golden shits first thing in the morning.
11. Do not criticise other workers if you are not prepared to be criticised yourself
Unless you are prepared to hear criticism from others do not criticise the way someone else conducts their business. Your uneducated, emotional, self-righteousness is not wanted. The conversation of sex and sexual education can create hostile conversations, hot debates, and hurt emotions. Just like when discussing religion and politics everyone wants their voice to be heard, they want their beliefs to be the one & only and if you're not in agreeance with us than you are against us. This mindset does not create growth, it does not move society forward, it does not aid anyone. All it does it create resentment, hate, and emotional arguments. You do not have to agree with everything that everyone says – even those you look up to. I love the work of Jordan Peterson he is an intelligent man, but still disagree with him from time to time. I think that males do need to swallow the red pill and stop being little sissy's, accept responsibility, be more accountable, and learn to be a better role model, though I do not agree with the red pill movement that woman should not have any rights and men should be total dictators. Feminism is great, woman should be allowed to work, excel and even build companies if they so wish, there should not be a pay gap just because she is female and he male – though someone working a retail job should NOT be earning the same as someone laying roof sheets on houses all day or a surgeon saving lives; woman should be allowed to vote, if she wants to grow hair on her legs so be it – The book 'She Doesn't owe you pretty by Florence Given' explains this perfectly; woman are human! Though I believe that extreme feminist's hurt society just as much as the red pill movement. I support the LGBT and believe gay people should have a right to get married, and raise a child if they are fit to be a parent – there are heterosexual parents that fail at this miserably, so who is to say a sound educated gay couple can not raise a decent adult. Though your 10+ genders can shove it!
It is one thing to have a view that is opposite to someone and expressing your personal beliefs. Differences allow for growth. But if you are going to publicly or privately share your belief or thoughts, bring facts & intelligence, not emotions.
Let's look at a good example where I constructively criticised someone within the sex industry. Bonnie Blue. A female worker who is under public scrutiny within the sex industry at the moment. When she posted the video of her & a friend walking down a main city street holding signs saying, "Shag for free" with families and children walking past I criticised her, making a comment on her video. While I am in full support of making sex less taboo, and creating better sexual education around the world, that is not the way or place to do it. Great content idea, wrong place. I did my best not to appear emotional and just state a fact that children & families do not want or NEED to see that as they walk the street in the middle of the day. I also disagree with her schoolies skits where she has sex with barely legal schoolies to create content, yes they are eighteen and of age to make their own choices such as: have sex, drink, smoke, go out to clubs, vote; now being seen as adults, but 98% of them still have no fucking clue what life is. Even at twenty-six myself I have no fucking clue what this great big, complexation of life is. This all being said, I also agree with what some of Bonnie talks about, and also think that some of her other content is pure gold. When she says that women need to put out more for their husbands I understand her point of view. I'm not about to speak about this at length because her viewpoint creates a very deep, complex discussion that involves sexual education, responsibilities from those involved, and males also becoming more accountable and accepting responsibility. Why would a woman put out for her husband if he has let himself go and is not as sexy as he once was? Why would a woman put out if the man is not creating the desired environment? Why would a man create the environment if he doesn't believe his woman will EVER give him anything in return? Maybe he thinks because his woman has become lethargic with her life, he can be lethargic with his life? Bonnie's view point for this particular issue opens a very big and necessary relationship conversation.
I also think that the content where she spontaneously put her location online and says to come have sex with her for five minutes is ingenious. Providing she upholds a strict age restriction and checks all ID's, provides the release forms for people to sign, all parties are consensual, and not related; this content is pure gold. She is a hot, blonde, British bombshell, with the confidence to match. she knows she is hot and she has the confidence to do what a lot of industry workers would not.
I would enjoy seeing this spontaneous location content become something more, she had a line of men outside the rendezvous! She could create the sex industry edition of 'The Amazing Race'. Have people travel around different parts of a city or even the world with hidden clues as to where to travel next, and at the end they have the reward of her graciousness. She could use the different locations to educate people on the history of sex, and the sex industry; or even her own kinky adventures throughout life. For example, one of the hidden clues could be hidden at the first park she had sex in (I hope my assumption is not making an ass out of you & me), what a way to tease and excite those who are playing the race.
Above is an example of constructive criticism within this industry. A lot of people within the industry, particularly within Australia hate Bonnie for the content she has made, especially the schoolies content, and last I heard she is banned from entering Australia. Before you decide to send me hate mail for also conferring Bonnie credit for her good quality content I want you to look at the phone you have, do you have an Iphone? Apple was known to make its original products from child slaves. Do you own a pair of Nike shoes? Nike was under scrutiny years ago for making their products through sweat shops. Do you have a channel bag? Apparently one of their most popular bags is produced for $80 and sold for $3,000! Do you own Balenciaga? Recently they went under scrutiny for a very bad campaign. There are many more examples of brands that either have bad practices and/ or a poor culture behind closed doors, and you still support them. Last I checked you do not NEED the newest Iphone to survive, buy a cheap touch phone that allows you text & calls, and tell your friends & clients to contact you via SMS or calls. You do not NEED a $5,000 bag, there are plenty of bags that serve the exact same purpose and look just as cute for a fraction of the price. There is a meme of a girl sitting with a mac computer that has a sticker saying fuck capitalism, while she has either a branded bag or clothing, and is drinking a large Starbucks coffee – I hope I do not need to explain every contradiction. So while I stand by the rest of industry that does not condone some of Bonnies actions, I also believe that she can use this experience to learn, grow, and create better more suitable sex content.
Different views create growth. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM creates growth. Your uneducated emotional overreaction does nothing but make the person your criticising want to continue, especially if you are not in a position that they are trying attain themselves.
You are not a perfect saint yourself.
DO NOT CRITICISE OTHER WORKERS IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO BE CRITICISED YOURSELF.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS TO BE THE BEST ESCORT
Thank you for reading,
Lexx Soule.
